He shouldn't have to......

What should one do when you are concerned that your children don't take money seriously or have an understanding of how to manage their money?


How about a case study in what not to do.

In the last week, I have had three people tell me that their kids should have to work or do without or not be pampered. Really? I have heard from each of these three people tell me in the past that they want their children to be respectful for what it takes to make money, they want their children to be savers, they want their children to work hard. All three families wrote checks to their children so they wouldn’t work during the summer.

One concept I have not figured out during my 12 years as a financial planner is how do you teach someone to respect money when they didn't work for it? I have never gotten a client to do that. So, I mostly work with executives and business owners who have earned their own way. That way, I have clients who are enthusiastic about saving, investing, making sound tax decisions.

Why do these people not see the gap between what they want for their children and the skills and values they teach their children? As a mother, I finally understand. It is the problem of being a parent. One or two generations ago, families were parent-centric. Families adapted to the lives of the parents. Now, the child-centric families adapt to what is perceived as best for the children. Some of these changes are probably for the best of the children and families. But, we are going to far on the letting kids be kids side.

Let's stop and think about what telling a teenager or college student that they shouldn't work during a school break means to them. Do you really want to teach your child that mom and dad's payroll will always be there? That having a nice, relaxing summer is more important than saving money for extras?

Unless you truly want your children to stay on family payroll forever, now is the time to teach them that they need to be making their own money. Yes, their own money. Because don't you look down on the parents that look at their grown child and say "they shouldn't have to work so hard?"